Discreet billing and staying anonymous

Discretion on adult sites has failed twice on a huge scale. Hackers published account data for 36 million Ashley Madison users in 2015, and about 412 million FriendFinder accounts were exposed in 2016, including millions their owners had deleted. Plan as if it will happen again.

Billing

• Sites don't reliably publish their billing descriptors. We could not confirm from any official source what AdultFriendFinder or Ashley Madison charges show as, and third-party claims disagree. Before paying, check the site's billing FAQ or ask support what the descriptor is.
• App-store billing hides the merchant. Subscribing inside an iPhone or Android app (Feeld, Pure) bills through Apple or Google, so the statement line names the store, though your receipt email names the app.
• FetLife bills as BitLove, its parent company, per reporting on its Supporter membership.

Account hygiene

• Use an email address you created for this and nothing else, and a username you have never used anywhere.
• Keep your face, tattoos and recognizable rooms out of explicit photos. Pure's disappearing photos help, but a second phone can always photograph a screen.
• Turn off contact syncing and don't link Instagram or Facebook.
• Delete accounts you no longer use, and don't assume "deleted" means gone: FriendFinder kept millions of deleted accounts, and Ashley Madison kept data people had paid to remove.

If your photos are misused

Sharing someone's intimate images without consent is illegal in most US states. The FTC explains how to report it and get images taken down; don't pay anyone who threatens you, and beware of paid "removal" services.