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FetLife review
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Good for: Kink and BDSM, if you're willing to join a community first.
Skip it if: You treat it like Tinder. You'll be ignored, and deservedly.
Visit FetLifeFetLife is a social network for the kink world, not a dating app, and it's explicit about that. There's no swiping and no matching. People post, join groups, organize munches (casual social meetups) and play parties, and connections happen through the community.
That makes it the most real place on this list for kinky sex and the worst place to cold-message women with your fantasies. The way in is slow: fill out a profile, join local groups, go to a munch, and let people vouch for you. References carry weight here in a way they don't anywhere else.
It's free; an optional Supporter membership, reported at about $5 a month, bills as BitLove. Everything you post is visible to every member, so use a scene name and keep your face out of anything spicy. FetLife has removed whole fetish categories before to keep its payment processors happy, so check the rules before posting.
The facts
- Cost
- Free. An optional "Supporter" membership, reported at about $5 a month, funds the site and adds extras; it bills as BitLove.[1]
- Who uses it
- A social network for people into BDSM and fetishes, run as a community (groups, events, writing) rather than a matching service. We found no audited user numbers.[2]
- Verification & safety tools
- No photo or ID verification. People vet each other through groups, munches (social meetups) and references. (Our own check: no published source found.)
- Privacy record
- Profiles, posts and group activity are visible to every member. Use a scene name and keep identifying photos off. (Our own check: no published source found.)
- Bots, fakes & regulators
- FetLife moderates content to keep its payment processors (it removed whole fetish categories in 2017). Treating it as a hookup app is the fastest way to be ignored.[3]